Why Am I Not Signed to a Record Label? Because the Music Industry is a Broken Shark Tank

For those who don't know what I do, I am a working musician with two bands: A Fallen Mind and Fuzzy Death Machine. A Fallen Mind has two albums out (working on a third) and Fuzzy Death Machine is working on it's debut album. I work night and day (literally) trying to promote either band in every way that I can. I've invested tons of money, I've submitted to many different radio stations and industry "professionals", etc etc. And I've been doing this for years.

So why am I an unknown, unsigned artist doing it all myself? Because the music industry is broken.

Music "professionals" and record labels will only accept your music based on a few factors:

• Does your music sound professionally put together?
  Because everyone has the money to rent out studio time and master their songs, right?
  I mean, why should the record companies do their job when you can do it for them?
• How many fans do you have?
  When they want to know this, they mean on Facebook, on Twitter, on Youtube, etc... not actual flesh and blood fans. They don't give a damn if these numbers are fluffed up. They don't look at whether these "fans" actually listen to your band (as opposed to just clicking "Like" and moving on.) Industry "pros" look at a number and make a blanket decision. But that doesn't entirely matter, if the answer to the next question is "Yes," which is....
• Do you have tits? (and/or are you good looking in the stereotypical sense?)
  No? Sorry. The music industry can't help you then...
  Unless, of course, you wow them by blowing them away and make it on your own (see Susan Boyle.) If you're lucky enough to make that happen, then they will fall all over themselves trying to sign you. My question is: Where the fuck were you before they made it? Now you want to sign them after they busted their ass and pushed past all your rejections? That's like the popular kids beating you up for years at school and then wanting to be your friend after you've become popular. Fuck you.
  
  Then it comes back to money....again:
• Are you willing to Pay to Play?
  If you want to submit your material to a label or an industry "professional", you better have money. Everything is pay to play now. EVERY. THING. Want to get on iTunes? Money. Spotify? Money. Submit your song to possibly be in a movie? Unless you know the director (or the director is kool with it), you have to pay. Don't believe me? Check out places like Music Xray, Tunecore, etc etc. And if you ask why A Fallen Mind is on those sites, it's not because I'm special. I PAYED to be there or to utilize their service.

So I have to do it all myself, because I'm broke. I'm barely hanging onto my house, my mental disabilities and my childrens' disabilities keep me from getting any kind of steady job (I also can't play a gig due to some of my kids' disability issues), and the only way to do this is to work my ass off in every other way that I can..... just to make it a fraction of the distance that most people with money make in a week or month.

How much work do I do to promote my stuff (and feel like a sellout whore at the same time)?
I'm on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, Youtube, and then a fuckton of other social media sites which I've probably let crumble due to the fact that it's hard as hell keeping up with all of them. I've paid to be on iTunes, YouTube Music, Spotify, Amazon, Google Play, Rdio, Deezer, Xbox Music, Rhapsody, eMusic, Simfy Africa, iHeartRadio, MixRadio, MediaNet, VerveLife, Tidal, Gracenote, Shazam, 7Digital, Juke, JB Hi-Fi, Slacker, Guvera, KKBox, Akazoo, Anghami, Spinlet, Neurotic Media, Yandex, Target Music, ClaroMusica, Play.me, Zvooq, Saavn, and 8tracks. When I play games on my PS4, I broadcast my gameplay via Twitch with a message that promotes my stuff during the broadcast (I also name my characters after my band for name recognition.) I work with other people in the industry to help promote their stuff as well as my own. I'm also licensed through BMI, which costs money, too.

When I tell people that I'm a struggling artist, some look at me like I'm crazy. The graphics and websites set up for my bands look somewhat professional and I promote myself as professionally as I can stand, so I must have money, right? No. The only reason that my stuff looks the way it does is because I'm good with Photoshop. That's it. Almost everything that you see is done by me alone. The graphics, the music writing and mixing, the promoting, everything. I don't have a team working for me. I'm just lucky enough to have a couple of people who are willing to contribute their own musical work at times and hang in there with me long enough while I try to put our music out there.

There has to be a better way to do all this, but so far I haven't found it. It feels defeating. And I'm sorry to end this on a negative note, as I like to keep things positive to some degree, but I don't feel very positive about any of this shit anymore.



Oh and two things to note:
1. If you do a google search for my stuff, A Fallen Mind is NOT "Fallen Minds" or "Fallen Mind." Who ever these people are, they aren't me. And I'm sure this will turn into an ugly legal thing eventually, which I don't want to do, but hey! Music industry, right? It fucking sucks!

2. I put the word "professional" and "pro" in quotes because I've met these guys. Most of them are sleazy, superficial idiots who believe that their own personal, shallow view of life is the way the world works. So we end up getting the Justin Beibers and the One Directions and then ask why? The "why" is because the music industry is a broken ship being steered by greedy assholes who are surrounded by other greedy assholes in an ocean of sharks and more superficial assholes.

Kittens, Tits & Gasoline... (re: a humbling experience)

First of all, this is Loco, the newest addition to the Kain household. My oldest son found him on the street and we took him in and have given him a new home here with us. I'll give you a second to get done looking at his picture and saying, "Awwwwwwww...."

He's more adorable in person.

Two things have happened recently that have humbled me to no end. One was getting Loco. He's a few months old and a lil' spitfire. Full of the adorable piss 'n vinegar one expects from a kitten. I still can't get over how cute he is.

Since Loco came to live with us, I have found myself smiling a lot more. Loving a lot more. And I realized how much I missed having baby animals around. They are more awesome than... well, awesomesauce. He has brought out the best in me and I really enjoy having my lil' buddy around. And it makes me sad to think that he spent his whole life outside, running from big bad things that would try to hurt him. I wonder what happened to his brothers and sisters. Did they die? Did they find homes, too? It just breaks my heart when I think about it. Fuck, I'm getting weepy right now just thinking about that shit.

Anywho, so a second thing is also happening that is humbling me to no end (see also frustration, wonder, ripping the hair out of my ... oh wait, I shave my head. Nevermind.) I started an IndieGoGo campaign to try to raise funds so that I could record my band's next album in a professional recording studio instead of doing it here at home. I've been doing stuff with my band for a while and I make ok money. Ok, who am I kidding? I'm broke every month. But the point is, we do have a following and we do make some money from selling our stuff. So when I started up this campaign I figured, "Hey. People pay to get our stuff. Maybe they'd be interested in a fund raiser to help our stuff get bigger and better." 

So far the people have been speaking and the message is, "Get a job, you bum!"

Our goal, probably unrealistically, is $10,000. Honestly I never expected to make anything near that much, but I was hoping we'd make something from this. And we have. In the 11 days we have left in our campaign -- as of this posting, that is -- we have made 10 bucks. I am very appreciative, too, for the person who put their financial faith in us to do this thing. But I'm also frustrated and wondering where I went wrong? Did I not send out enough invites? Did I not post to enough places? Did I say the wrong thing in our pitch video? Did I make a SHITTY pitch video? Were the perks in our campaign not good enough? Too lofty? I don't know. I just feel like the wind has been kicked out of my sails.

So when November 3rd rolls around, and we've still only made $10 bucks, I'll once again be humbled. I'll be thankful that the donor put their faith in us, I'll use the money towards making the new album, and I'll try to do the best I can with what we've got. A Fallen Mind will always live to fight another day.

Oh, and the "Tits & Gasoline" part of this entry is one of the first singles we'll be putting out from the new album. I just wanted to make the title of this piece more provocative 'n shit. For Jesus.

Boy Scout Rock Fiasco: Monumental Tragedy or Stupid Bullshit?

I was reading a status post on my friend Emery Emery's FB page about the Boy Scout Leaders who toppled over the rock in Utah. If you're unfamiliar with this story, you can read about it here and/or watch the video above. He had expressed that he was finding it hard to demonize these men for what they did and that gave me something to think about.

My wife, Jessica, showed the video to me a few days earlier and my only thought was "What a bunch of dumbasses." And then I went on with my day.

After reading Emery's post, and the subsequent responses to his post, it made me wonder whether I was missing the point of this whole thing and maybe this was a bigger deal than what I was thinking. I mean, these guys are now getting death threats over their actions. As an example of how people are reacting towards people who are either ok with this, or indifferent, I'll post a short back-n-forth convo. I had with someone in Emery's status. It went a lil' something like this:

After his last retort above I closed Facefuck without response and went to bed. I try to not get sucked into childish arguments and partake in other people's reindeer games ("try" is the optimal word here.) Sadly, I continued to think about this issue, and thread, for the rest of the evening. I swore I wasn't going to be affected by other people's opinions and yet I laid in bed thinking about this whole thing and whether I think the idea of a rock being pushed over is a devastating thing or just stupid bullshit. My conclusion is: stupid bullshit.

It's one thing to be taking a piss on Mount Rushmore. Even then I'm not sure I would entirely give a shit. But pushing over a random fuckin' rock? Come on. Maybe I'm not as "liberal" as I thought I was (or maybe not as black n white thinking) but to me it's just a rock. If the size of it was 10 times smaller, I don't think anyone would give 2 shits.

This actually kind of reminds me of of bullshit arguments and "fiascos" like the Coke and Pepsi debate. Or PC vs MAC. Toilet seat up or down. It just seems inconsequential to me. I've got better things to do with my time than to think about the pros and cons of pushing over a rock. Like, I don't know, feeding my family and paying the bills? Silly me.

Movin' on Up (Re: Fuck Word Press)

So I've decided to move my blog over here to blogger. If you have never read my old blog, you haven't missed out on shit. But if you really want to look at it, here's a link. Really, it's nothing to get excited about.

I made the move over to blogger for my freedom. *sniff* It's the American way. *sniff sniff*

No, not that kind of freedom. I left wordpress because they won't let me customize my page anymore. Sure I can add widgets 'n shit. But if I want to update the look of my page -- and let's face it, my old blog looks like sheeeeeee-it -- then I have to pay them money to do that. I'm sorry, but fuck you. I'll pay money for a lot of stupid shit, but to do basic stuff to my blog page? Fuck that. Not when blogger will let me do what I want and I have to pay zero dollars for it. THAT, my friends, IS the American way.

So here I am on blogger with my first post and I have nothing to really write about except for this whiney little rant. I guess if you want some kind of preview of the shit that I write about, you can check the following links from my old blog:

• Back from the Dead
• So I Have This New Album Coming Up
• Godzilla's Friends Are Assholes
• Don't Have Any Damn Money? Read On...

That's about as good as it gets. But there will probably be less shilling of my band and projects (who am I kidding?) and more in-depth crap like the first and third link. Or maybe not. Who the hell knows? I do this because I get bored.

And speaking of getting bored, why the hell have you made it this far into my blog post? Seriously, is there nothing else you could be doing with your free time? Here's some ideas:

1. You could go for a walk. Take the dog with you. He looks like he's gotta pee, for fucks sake.

2. Go start a blog about how much this blog sucks. 

3. Pray to Jesus. It's about as productive as what you're doing right now.

4. Friend me on Facebook. I warn you, though, I'm about as thrilling as I am right here.

5. Go check out my band's music. This, actually, is a good thing.

6. Tell Pat Robertson to go fuck himself. If you put it on youtube I'll post it on my blog.

Or whatever.