Life, You Weird Motherfucker

So I woke up today feeling just absolutely miserable and depressed. As part of my bipolarism, I sometimes get really down and emo, sometimes for no reason at all. Today was one of those days. Lately I've been feeling just horrible, trapped, claustrophobic, and down right pissy. For a myriad of reasons, but nothing that should make one feel as down in a hole as I was feeling.

Well, life came knocking on our doorstep in the form of:

PUPPY POWER!

Yes, somehow, for some reason, we have been presented with another lost baby animal, this time with a head injury. And I'll be damned if I turn away an injured animal, especially a baby. So the lil guy has found a new home here with the Kains. Loco the kitten is not happy.

And as I write about all of this, I've been thinking to myself... am I depressed now? Miserable? Sad? Not at all. Well played, Life. Well played.....

Grand Theft Auto (gta) 5 Online Cheats, Tips, and Other Shit - part 2

You can find a lot of tips and ideas around the net for making money, doing jobs easier, and so on for GTA 5 and Grand Theft Auto Online. Some of the ideas below are taken from the net and others are my own ideas, though I'm sure others have had the same ideas I have come up with. For now I will focus on Grand Theft Auto Online, as that is what is freshly interesting me at the moment.

Grand Theft Auto Online Tips and Ideas

Most of the original ideas I've come up with have to do with playing GTAO. I've been playing for a few weeks now and hopefully some of this stuff will come in handy for late-comers to the game. Keep in mind, however, that Rock Star is still improving on glitches and still improving the online version gaming experience, so it's alway evolving. Some ideas and tips you read below may eventually become out of date. Hopefully, though, that will not be the case for a lot of them.

DON'Ts

Don't keep your cash on hand. If you get killed by another player, some of your on-hand cash will fall to the ground and that player can grab it. Find a good hiding spot and pop up your cell phone. Go to the internet and store your money in your bank account (Maze bank or whatever it's called.)

Don't bet on anything until you have a lot of money under your belt. You have the ability to gamble on the outcome of races or deathmatches and whatnot, but it's not worth the risk of what little cash you have on hand.

Don't get just any shitty car when getting a personal vehicle. When you first start, the game lets you get a personal vehicle off the streets and take it to a mod shop to make it your own. This vehicle will most likely remain yours for a long time in the game. So pick wisely. Get a sports car if possible. You will eventually be using it as a custom vehicle during races. You want the best, so try to grab the best you can.

Don't buy clothing and attire. For some, I know you'll want to look kool to other people while you run around trying to shoot them or blow them up. Resist the urge until you've gotten more experience and money under your belt. Besides, the best clothing won't unlock until you've gotten more experience.

Don't try to blow up anyone's personal vehicle. One of the things Rock Star tried to do was to keep newbies from getting blown up left and right as soon as they got online, so they invented the Poor Sport concept. What this is is if someone blows up another person's personal vehicle or quits a mission early or whatever, they can become Bad Sports. Becoming a bad sport will lock you out of some missions and will not let you play against other players unless they are bad sports, too. Plus it gives you a dunce cap to wear for a few days. So unless that is the particular style you want for your character, I'd avoid doing stuff like that.

Making Money

One of the things I discovered when I first got on GTAO is that you need money. Lots of it. The game starts you out with a couple of thousand bucks, but it's not much to get you going. You need more moolah to get the ball rolling, so let's get you started with some ideas:

Rob Stores

In the GTAO world, you have the ability to rob liquor and convenience stores around town. This will net you anywhere from 800 to 2000 dollars. I don't recall if GTAO gives you a gun to start out with or not, so if they don't, then you'll need to buy a gun at Ammu-Nation. You can do this with the money they start you off with, which I would recommend. Next, locate a robbable store on your map and go to it. Make sure you have a getaway vehicle handy, cause you're going to need it. Enter the store, draw your weapon, and aim it at the clerk. You don't have to shoot him, just aim it at him. He will eventually start putting money in a bag for you and then drop it in front of the counter. To make him go faster, yell into your headset or start shooting merchandise behind him or around him. Be careful, as he will start shooting at you the moment you turn around to run out the store. The cops will immediately be called and you will obtain a one or two star wanted level. If you shoot the clerk, your wanted level will go up to 3 stars and you'll be chased by helicopters as well as cop cars. Not fun. So hop in your getaway vehicle and get rolling. Hide from the cops to lose your wanted level, then get that money into the bank as soon as you can. You don't want another player picking you off and grabbing some of your cash.

I've learned that if you wear a mask that you can buy at a mask store in Vaspucci Beach, it'll keep your wanted level lower when robbing stores. Something to keep in mind.

Note: Most of the time I would shoot the clerk, duck behind the counter, and store the money in my bank from my cell phone. Then I'd stand up and let the cops shoot me. If you outrun the cops, you gain more experience points. If not, you still have the cash. Whatever works for you. I've also heard that Rock Star may take $500 bucks from you everytime you die to "pay for medical bills." I haven't seen this happen, but you never know. So keep this in mind when doing a store job.

Sell Cars

One thing that netted me a lot of money when starting out is selling cars. You can steal a car, take it to Los Santos Customs, and sell it for decent cash. Los Santos Customs will accept a new car to be sold every 45 minutes. Coups and SUVs, listed below, are the best ones vehicles to sell (along with a couple of sports car varieties.) I found the following list at this website:

Lampadati Felon $9,500/$9,000
Gallivanter Baller (Modern) $9,000
Gallivanter Baller (Classic) $9,000
Obey Rocoto $8,500
Ocelot F620 $8,000
Ubermacht Oracle $8,000
Albany Cavalcade (Modern) $7,000
Benefactor Dubsta $7,000
Albany Cavalcade (Classic) $7,000
Ubermacht Zion $6,500
Ubermacht Zion Cabrio $6,500
Benefactor Schafter $6,500
Ocelot Jackal $6,000
Benefactor Serrano $6,000
Ubermacht Sentinel XS $6,000
Ubermacht Sentinel $6,000
Dundreary Landstalker $5,800
Fathom FQ 2 $5,000
Mammoth Patriot $5,000

"Big tip: don’t go stealing high-end sports cars, as those aren’t in demand. SUVs and Coupes are usually very good money. Sedans and econoboxes are generally worth less."

Simeon Wants Cars

When you start out, you'll get text messages from Simeon (from GTA5) telling you to be on the look out for various different cars around the game, including some very specific cars that will appear as an icon on your map. Some cars you can grab off the street from drivers or they will be parked randomly. Grab those, get them re-sprayed at LSC, and take them to the S located on your map (careful, the cops will come after you until you get it re-sprayed.) If Simeon tells you of a very specific car that he wants, go to the icon on your map, get the car re-sprayed, and deliver it to Simeon. Again, the cops will be after you. Also, other players online will be alerted to the vehicle's whereabouts, so you may have to dodge them, too.

Key cars to watch for (this list was taken from this site):
Felon GT: $9,5k
Gallivanteer Baller: $9k
Lampadati Felon: $9k
Ocelot F620: $8k
Ubermacht Oracle: $8k

Missions

One of the best ways to make money is to do missions. I like doing Deathmatches and Survivals because they give you weapons and armor to use, so you don't have to spend your own money gearing up for battle. Whenever I need to save up money to get a new garage or apartment I hop into a Survival mission and try to keep replaying it as many times as I can. Survivals cost 200 dollars each time you play them, but if you successfully complete one (10 waves), you get 20,000 bucks. And you can play Survivals as many times as you want.

There are other ways to make money around GTAO, but these are the best that I have come up with so far. Mind you, as of this posting, I am at level 30 so I may find more and better ways as I go. If you have good ideas, post them down in the comments section below.

Get a Garage or Apartment

When I started out playing GTAO, I had no garage or apartment to store my vehicles. I have heard that if you sign up with the Rock Star Social Club that they will give you a free garage. I'd advise doing so if that is the case, because it's not easy holding on to your stuff. Plus you get a mechanic who you can call to deliver your vehicle wherever you are at. It's also a great place to hide out when the cops, or another player, are chasing you. No one can come in unless you let them.

Something to keep in mind, when I bought my first (cheapest) garage, I found a lot of players hanging outside of it. Took me a little while to realize that they had also bought the same garage, so I was at risk of getting shot whenever I left my place. Fortunately, they don't get the same cyber space that you get, so when you go into your garage, you are safe and no one can come into your own personal garage. Unfortunately, again, there are a lot of players hanging around hoping to pick you off. So choose carefully.

As time goes on, hopefully I'll add more tips, tricks, and ideas for making GTA5 and GTAO more fun to play. If you have any comments, suggestions, or ideas, be sure to leave them in the comments section.

Thanks for reading.

Don't forget to read Part 1 of This Entry! Click Here.

Grand Theft Auto (gta) 5 Online Cheats, Tips, and Other Shit - part 1

Like a bajillion other gamers, I've been submerging myself into the world of GTA5 and Grand Theft Auto Online since it came out. It's outrageously entertaining and much much MUCH better than the last GTAs ever were. If you don't know a thing about GTA V, let's start off with environment. When people say it's huge, they are not exaggerating. It's HUGE. The map is much bigger than previous GTAs and not only can you swim, but you can dive down into the water and explore the depths of the ocean. You can hunt animals (not my favorite part at all), you can rob armored money trucks, you can help random people as a good samaritan, you can buy property to make cash every week, and the list goes on and on. And that is just GTA5. We haven't even scratched the surface of both GTA5 and GTA Online. I don't know how the hell these guys do it, but they have made a totally immersive world that is the closest to real as a game can get on a PS3. In other words, it's my new favorite game.

I've beaten the game -- GTA5, not Online -- though I haven't achieved 100% on it. And I've decided that I'd like to include some of the cheats I've found around the net as well as some ideas I've come up with while playing the game to make things more fun for newcomers.

First, let's get to everyone's favorite part of playing GTA:

Cheat Codes (PS3)

I got the following cheat codes from this website, but you can find them on similar pages around the net. I've used most of them, so I know they work.

Full health and armor - Circle, L1, Triangle, R2, X, Square, Circle, Right, Square, L1, L1, L1.

Give weapons and extra ammo - Triangle, R2, Left, L1, X, Right, Triangle, Down, Square, L1, L1, L1

Lower wanted level - R1, R1, Circle, R2, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right, Left.

Raise wanted level - R1, R1, Circle, R2, Left, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right.

Recharge special ability - X, X, Square, R1, L1, X, Right, Left, X.

Faster run - Triangle, Left, Right, Right, L2, L1, Square.

Faster swim - Left, Left, L1, Right, Right, R2, Left, L2, Right.

Flaming bullets - L1, R1, Square, R1, Left, R2, R1, Left, Square, Right, L1, L1.

Explosive bullets - Right, Square, X, Left, R1, R2, Left, Right, Right, L1, L1, L1.

Explosive melee attacks - Right, Left, X, Triangle, R1, Circle, Circle, Circle, L2.

Slidey cars - Triangle, R1, R1, Left, R1, L1, R2, L1.

Drunk mode - Triangle, Right, Right, Left, Right, Square, Circle, Left.

Change weather - R2, X, L1, L1, L2, L2, L2, Square.

Super jump - Left, Left, Triangle, Triangle, Right, Right, Left, Right, Square, R1, R2. Hold Square to jump very high.

Slow-motion mode - Triangle, Left, Right, Right, Square, R2, R1. (Can be entered up to four times to increase its effect.)

Slow-motion aim - Square, L2, R1, Triangle, Left, Square, L2, Right, X. The code can be entered up to three times to increase its effect. Enter it a fourth time to disable the code.

Moon gravity - Left, Left, L1, R1, L1, Right, Left, L1, Left. Enter a vehicle after enabling this code to experience less gravity. Press Circle after jumping to float.

Invincibility - Right, X, Right, Left, Right, R1, Right, Left, X, Triangle (invisibility lasts five minutes.) You must enter the code again after five minutes to reactive invincibility. Note: This code does not make vehicles invincible.

Skyfall - L1, L2, R1, R2, Left, Right, Left, Right, L1, L2, R1, R2, Left, Right, Left, Right. This cheat code spawns you in the air for a skydive free fall. If you hold the Analog-stick, you can glide for a long time. However, it does not allow you to use the parachute. Thus, you will usually die at the end of the free fall. It is possible to survive, but you will have very little health remaining. The best way to survive is to do a direct vertical faceplant. If you can survive the fall, this cheat is very useful for fast traveling around the map.

Vehicles:

Spawn BMX bike - Left(2), Right(2), Left, Right, Square, Circle, Triangle, R1, R2.

Spawn Buzzard (small attack helicopter) - Circle(2), L1, Circle(3), L1, L2, R1, Triangle, Circle, Triangle. The Buzzard is a helicopter with missiles and guns. It must be spawned in a large enough area for it to appear, or it will not spawn.

Spawn Caddy (golf cart) - Circle, L1, Left, R1, L2, X, R1, L1, Circle, X.

Spawn Comet (two door sports car) - R1, Circle, R2, Right, L1, L2, X(2), Square, R1.

Spawn Duster (crop duster plane) - Right, Left, R1(3), Left, Triangle(2), X, Circle, L1(2).

Spawn Limo (limousine) - R2, Right, L2, Left(2), R1, L1, Circle, Right.

Spawn parachute - Left, Right, L1, L2, R1, R2(2), Left(2), Right, L1.

Spawn PCJ-600 motorcycle - R1, Right, Left, Right, R2, Left, Right, Square, Right, L2, L1(2).

Spawn Rapid GT (two door sports car) - R2, L1, Circle, Right, L1, R1, Right, Left, Circle, R2.

Spawn Sanchez (dual-sport dirt bike) - Circle, X, L1, Circle(2), L1, Circle, R1, R2, L2, L1(2).

Spawn Stunt Plane (fixed-wing stunt plane) - Circle, Right, L1, L2, Left, R1, L1(2), Left(2), X, Triangle.

Spawn Trashmaster (garbage truck) - Circle, R1, Circle, R1, Left(2), R1, L1, Circle, Right.

Cheat Codes (XBox)

I got the following cheat codes from this website, but again, you can find them on similar pages around the net. It should be noted that I've never played GTA on Xbox, so I've never used these. I have no idea if they work or not. If they do, let me know in the comments section.

Invincibility - Right, A, Right, Left, Right, RB, Right, Left, A, Y to be invincible for five minutes.

Full health and armor - B, LB, Y, RT, A, X, B, Right, X, LB LB LB.

Give weapons and extra ammo - Y, RT, Left, LB, A, Right, Y, Down, X, LB LB LB

Lower wanted level - RB, RB, B, RT, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right, Left.

Raise wanted level - RB, RB, B, RT, Left, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right.

Recharge special ability - A, A, X, RB, LB, A, Right, Left, A.

Super jump - Left, Left, Y, Y, Right, Right Left, Right, X, RB, RT. Hold X to jump very high.

Faster run - Y, Left, Right, Right LT, LB, X.

Faster swim - Left, Left, LB, Right, Right, RT, Left, LT, Right.

Flaming bullets - LB, RB, X, RB, Left, RT, RB, Left, X, Right, LB, LB.

Explosive bullets - Right, X, A, Left, RB, RT, Left, Right, Right, LB, LB, LB.

Explosive melee attacks - Right, Left, A, Y, RB, B, B, B, LT.

Slow-motion aim - X, LT, RB, Y, Left, X, LT, Right, A. The code can be entered up to three times to increase its effect. Enter it a fourth time to disable the code.

Moon gravity - Left, Left, LB, RB, LB, Right, Left, LB, Left. Enter a vehicle after enabling this code to experience less gravity. Press B after jumping to float.

Slidey cars - Y, RB, RB, Left, RB, LB, RT, LB.

Skyfall - LB, LT, RB, RT, Left, Right, Left, Right, LB, LT, RB, RT, Left, Right, Left, Right. This cheat code spawns you in the air for a skydive free fall, but no parachute.

Drunk mode - Y, Right, Right, Left, Right, X, B, Left.

Slow-motion mode - Y, Left, Right, Right, X, RT, RB. The code can be entered up to four times to increase its effect. Enter it a fifth time to disable the code.

Change weather - RT, A, LB, LB, LT, LT, LT, X. Enter the code multiple times to cycle through all weather effects.

Vehicles:

Spawn BMX bike - Left, Left, Right, Right, Left, Right, X, B, Y, RB, RT.

Spawn Buzzard (small attack helicopter) - B, B, LB, B(3), LB, LT, RB, Y, B, Y.

Spawn Caddy (golf cart) - B, LB, Left, RB, LT, A, RB, LB, B, A.

Spawn Comet (two door sports car) - RB, B, RT, Right, LB, LT, A(2), X, RB.

Spawn Duster (crop duster plane) - Right, Left, RB, RB, RB, Left, Y, Y, A, B, LB, LB.

Spawn Limo (limousine) - RT, Right, LT, Left, Left, RB, LB, B, Right.

Spawn parachute - Left, Right, LB, LT, RB, RT, RT, Left, Left, Right, LB.

Spawn PCJ-600 motorcycle - RB, Right, Left, Right, RT, Left, Right, X, Right, LT, LB, LB.

Spawn Rapid GT (two door sports car) - RT, LB, B, Right, LB, RB, Right, Left, B, RT.

Spawn Sanchez (dual-sport dirt bike) - B, A, LB, B, B, LB, B, RB, RT, LT, LB, LB.

Spawn Stunt Plane (fixed-wing stunt plane) - B, Right, LB, LT, Left, RB, LB, LB, Left, Left, A, Y.

Spawn Trashmaster (garbage truck) - B, RB, B, RB, Left, Left, RB, LB, B, Right.

Cheat Codes (Online)

As far as I know there aren't any GTA Online cheat codes, but it's still early in the opening of GTAO, so you never know what the future has in store. If any become available, I will post them here, so bookmark this page and try back.

Kittens, Tits & Gasoline... (re: a humbling experience)

First of all, this is Loco, the newest addition to the Kain household. My oldest son found him on the street and we took him in and have given him a new home here with us. I'll give you a second to get done looking at his picture and saying, "Awwwwwwww...."

He's more adorable in person.

Two things have happened recently that have humbled me to no end. One was getting Loco. He's a few months old and a lil' spitfire. Full of the adorable piss 'n vinegar one expects from a kitten. I still can't get over how cute he is.

Since Loco came to live with us, I have found myself smiling a lot more. Loving a lot more. And I realized how much I missed having baby animals around. They are more awesome than... well, awesomesauce. He has brought out the best in me and I really enjoy having my lil' buddy around. And it makes me sad to think that he spent his whole life outside, running from big bad things that would try to hurt him. I wonder what happened to his brothers and sisters. Did they die? Did they find homes, too? It just breaks my heart when I think about it. Fuck, I'm getting weepy right now just thinking about that shit.

Anywho, so a second thing is also happening that is humbling me to no end (see also frustration, wonder, ripping the hair out of my ... oh wait, I shave my head. Nevermind.) I started an IndieGoGo campaign to try to raise funds so that I could record my band's next album in a professional recording studio instead of doing it here at home. I've been doing stuff with my band for a while and I make ok money. Ok, who am I kidding? I'm broke every month. But the point is, we do have a following and we do make some money from selling our stuff. So when I started up this campaign I figured, "Hey. People pay to get our stuff. Maybe they'd be interested in a fund raiser to help our stuff get bigger and better." 

So far the people have been speaking and the message is, "Get a job, you bum!"

Our goal, probably unrealistically, is $10,000. Honestly I never expected to make anything near that much, but I was hoping we'd make something from this. And we have. In the 11 days we have left in our campaign -- as of this posting, that is -- we have made 10 bucks. I am very appreciative, too, for the person who put their financial faith in us to do this thing. But I'm also frustrated and wondering where I went wrong? Did I not send out enough invites? Did I not post to enough places? Did I say the wrong thing in our pitch video? Did I make a SHITTY pitch video? Were the perks in our campaign not good enough? Too lofty? I don't know. I just feel like the wind has been kicked out of my sails.

So when November 3rd rolls around, and we've still only made $10 bucks, I'll once again be humbled. I'll be thankful that the donor put their faith in us, I'll use the money towards making the new album, and I'll try to do the best I can with what we've got. A Fallen Mind will always live to fight another day.

Oh, and the "Tits & Gasoline" part of this entry is one of the first singles we'll be putting out from the new album. I just wanted to make the title of this piece more provocative 'n shit. For Jesus.

Boy Scout Rock Fiasco: Monumental Tragedy or Stupid Bullshit?

I was reading a status post on my friend Emery Emery's FB page about the Boy Scout Leaders who toppled over the rock in Utah. If you're unfamiliar with this story, you can read about it here and/or watch the video above. He had expressed that he was finding it hard to demonize these men for what they did and that gave me something to think about.

My wife, Jessica, showed the video to me a few days earlier and my only thought was "What a bunch of dumbasses." And then I went on with my day.

After reading Emery's post, and the subsequent responses to his post, it made me wonder whether I was missing the point of this whole thing and maybe this was a bigger deal than what I was thinking. I mean, these guys are now getting death threats over their actions. As an example of how people are reacting towards people who are either ok with this, or indifferent, I'll post a short back-n-forth convo. I had with someone in Emery's status. It went a lil' something like this:

After his last retort above I closed Facefuck without response and went to bed. I try to not get sucked into childish arguments and partake in other people's reindeer games ("try" is the optimal word here.) Sadly, I continued to think about this issue, and thread, for the rest of the evening. I swore I wasn't going to be affected by other people's opinions and yet I laid in bed thinking about this whole thing and whether I think the idea of a rock being pushed over is a devastating thing or just stupid bullshit. My conclusion is: stupid bullshit.

It's one thing to be taking a piss on Mount Rushmore. Even then I'm not sure I would entirely give a shit. But pushing over a random fuckin' rock? Come on. Maybe I'm not as "liberal" as I thought I was (or maybe not as black n white thinking) but to me it's just a rock. If the size of it was 10 times smaller, I don't think anyone would give 2 shits.

This actually kind of reminds me of of bullshit arguments and "fiascos" like the Coke and Pepsi debate. Or PC vs MAC. Toilet seat up or down. It just seems inconsequential to me. I've got better things to do with my time than to think about the pros and cons of pushing over a rock. Like, I don't know, feeding my family and paying the bills? Silly me.

I am Jack's Inner Douchebag

So I wrote a blog post earlier and later deleted it. It was a good one, too. It was a scathing entry about how someone had done something that I was doing and it pissed me off. I know that's vague, but I don't feel like rehashing the situation. Basically I felt they were stealing my idea (that I got from someone else, go figure.)

Come to find out a few hours later they had started theirs right before I did. Oopsie. Suddenly I felt like douchebag.

I often have moments where I see something that pisses me off and I jump the gun on it. I automatically assume that something -- or someone -- is fucking me over without buying me dinner and immediately I get defensive. Unfortunately it's a part of my bipolarism. It's sad, really. I usually feel like a complete moron afterwards. And it happens more often than you would think.

I posted a two-part vlog on my youtube channel a few months ago about being bipolar. You can find them here and here. Being bipolar, in a few words, sucks ass. I can be sitting there feeling just fine, then something will happen and suddenly I take it completely wrong and get pissed off. Or I'll get frustrated with a situation and get angry, but can't find the words to express how I feel, so I shut down. I don't want anyone or anything to touch me, talk to me, or even look at me. I feel like I could explode at any minute. And it sucks when I do because everyone around me gets hurt by my words.

I used to be violent when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. I broke a lot of objects. Punched a lot of holes in walls. Not proud of it at all, but it is what it is. I don't do any of that shit anymore. Now I keep myself contained and walk away. I sulk, I brood, I go spend time alone. Usually I'll go play video games where I can shoot people or beat people up, or I'll listen to loud music. That calms me down the most.

Anyway, I deal with shit better than I used to, but I still scare people sometimes. I don't mean to. I never mean to. But I have been told that the looks I give when I am pissed could burn holes. Sometimes I wish they could see the person I used to be so they would know how much I have changed for the better. I used to be a fucking asshole. Now I'm just a dickhead with a blog.

Movin' on Up (Re: Fuck Word Press)

So I've decided to move my blog over here to blogger. If you have never read my old blog, you haven't missed out on shit. But if you really want to look at it, here's a link. Really, it's nothing to get excited about.

I made the move over to blogger for my freedom. *sniff* It's the American way. *sniff sniff*

No, not that kind of freedom. I left wordpress because they won't let me customize my page anymore. Sure I can add widgets 'n shit. But if I want to update the look of my page -- and let's face it, my old blog looks like sheeeeeee-it -- then I have to pay them money to do that. I'm sorry, but fuck you. I'll pay money for a lot of stupid shit, but to do basic stuff to my blog page? Fuck that. Not when blogger will let me do what I want and I have to pay zero dollars for it. THAT, my friends, IS the American way.

So here I am on blogger with my first post and I have nothing to really write about except for this whiney little rant. I guess if you want some kind of preview of the shit that I write about, you can check the following links from my old blog:

• Back from the Dead
• So I Have This New Album Coming Up
• Godzilla's Friends Are Assholes
• Don't Have Any Damn Money? Read On...

That's about as good as it gets. But there will probably be less shilling of my band and projects (who am I kidding?) and more in-depth crap like the first and third link. Or maybe not. Who the hell knows? I do this because I get bored.

And speaking of getting bored, why the hell have you made it this far into my blog post? Seriously, is there nothing else you could be doing with your free time? Here's some ideas:

1. You could go for a walk. Take the dog with you. He looks like he's gotta pee, for fucks sake.

2. Go start a blog about how much this blog sucks. 

3. Pray to Jesus. It's about as productive as what you're doing right now.

4. Friend me on Facebook. I warn you, though, I'm about as thrilling as I am right here.

5. Go check out my band's music. This, actually, is a good thing.

6. Tell Pat Robertson to go fuck himself. If you put it on youtube I'll post it on my blog.

Or whatever.